Im going through changes, Im going through changes
Lately, I really
Feel like Im, rollin for delph like Philly
Feel like Im losin control of myself
I sincerely, apologize if all that I sound like
Is Im complaining, but life keeps on complicating
And, Im debating on, leaving this world this evening
Even my girls can see that Im grieving
I try and hide it but I cant
Why do I act like I am all high and mighty
When inside Im dying, I am finally realizin I need, help
Cant do it myself, too weak
Two weeks Ive been having ups and down
Going through peaks and valleys
Dilly dallying, around with the idea
Of ending this shit right here
Im hating my reflection
I walk around the house trying to fight mirrors
I cant stand what I look like, yeah
I look fat, but what do I care
I dont give a fuck, only thing that I fear is Hailie
Im afraid that if I close my eyes then I might see her, shit
Im going through changes, Im going through changes
I lock myself in the bedroom, bathroom
Napping at noon, yeah dads in a bad mood
Hes always snapping at you
Marshall what happened that you
Cant stop with these pills, and youve falling off with your skills
And your own fans are laughing at you
It become a problem youre too pussy to tackle
Get up, be a man, stand, a real man woulda had this shit handled
Know you just had your heart, ripped out and crushed
They say Proof just flipped out, homie just whipped out and bust
Nah, it aint like Doody to do that,
He wouldnt fuckin shoot at, nobody, hed fight first
But dwelling on it only makes the night worse
Now Im popping Vikes, Percs, and Methadone Pills
Yeah Em tight verse, you killed it
Fuckin drug dealers hang around me like Yes-Men
And they gon do whatever I says, whenever I says it
Its in their best interest to protect their investment
And I just lost my fuckin best friend, so fuck it I guess then
Im going through changes, Im going through changes
(Dont know what Im going through,
But I just keep on going through changes)
My friends cant understand this new me
Thats understandable man, but think how bananas youd be
Youd be an animal too
If you were trapped in this fame, and caged in it like a zoo
And everybodys lookin at you
Whacha want me to do?
Im starting to live like a recluse, and the truth is
Fame is starting to give me an excuse
To be at a, all-time low
I sit alone in my home theater, watching the same damn D-V-D of the
First tour, the last tour, he was still alive
And it hurts, so I fast forward
Sleeping pills would make me feel alright
And if Im still awake in the middle of the night
I just take a couple more, yeah youre motherfucking right
I aint slowing down for no one
I am almost homeward bound
Almost in a coma, yeah homie, come on dole em out
Daddy dont you die on me
Daddy better hold your ground
Fuck, dont I know the sound of that voice
Yeah baby hold me down
Im going through changes, Im going through changes
(Dont know what Im going through,
But I just keep going through changes)
Wake up in the hospital, full of tubes
Plus somehow Im pulling through
Swear when I come back, Im ma be bullet proof
Im a do it just for proof
I think I should state a few
Facts, cause I may not get a chance again to say the truth
See it just hit me, that what if I would not have made it through
I think about the things that I would have never got say to you
Id never get to make it right, so heres what I came to do
Hailey this one is for you, Whitney and Alaina too
I still love your mother, thatll never change
Think about her every day, we just could never get it together hey
Wish there was a better way for me to say it
But I swear on everything, Ill do anything for her on any day
There are just too many things, to explain
When it rains, guess it pours, guess it does
Wish there wasnt any pain
But I cant pretend there aint
I aint placing any blame, I aint pointing fingers
Heaven knows Ive never been a saint
I know that it feels like we just pissed away our history
And just today, I looked at your picture, almost as if to say
I miss you sub-consciously, wish it didnt end this way
But I just had to get away, dont know why, I dont know what else to say
I guess Im
Im going through changes, Im going through changes
Dont know what Im going through, but I just keep going through changes