Well, I took me a woman late last night
Is three-fourths drunk she looked all right
Till she started peelin off her onion gook
She took off her wig, said, How do I look?
Is high flyin, bare naked, out the window
Well, sometimes I might get drunk
Walk like a duck and smell like a skunk
Dont hurt me none, dont hurt my pride
Cause I got my little lady right by my side
Shes a-tryin to hide
Pretendin she dont know me
Is out there paintin on the old wood shed
When a can oblack paint it fell on my head
I went down to scrub and rub
But I had to sit in back of the tub
Cost a quarter
Half price
Well, my telephone rang it would not stop
Its President Kennedy callin me up
He said, My friend, Bob, what do we need to make the country grow?
I said my friend, John, Brigitte Bardot
Anita Ekberg
Sophia Loren
Countryll grow
Well, I got a woman five feet short
She yells and hollers and squeals and snorts
She tickles my nose pats me on the head
Blows me over and kicks me out of bed
Shes a man eater
Meat grinder
Bad loser
Oh, there aint no use in me workin alla time
I got a woman who works herself blind
Works up to her britches, up to her neck
Write me letters and sends me checks
Shes a humdinger
Folk singer
Late one day in the middle of the week
Eyes were closed I was half asleep
I chased me a woman up the hill
Right in the middle of an air drill
I jumped a fallout shelter
I jumped the string bean
I jumped the TV dinner
I jumped the shot gun
Now, the man on the stand he wants my vote
Hes a-runnin for office on the ballot note
Hes out there preachin in front of the steeple
Tellin me he loves all kinds-a people
Hes eatin bagels
Hes eatin pizza
Hes eatin chitlins
Oh, set me down on a television floor
Ill flip the channel to number four
Out of the shower comes a football man
With a bottle of oil in his hand
Greasy kid stuff
What I want to know, Mr. Football Man, is
What do you do about Willy Mays
Martin Luther King
Olatunji
Well, the funniest woman I ever seen
Was the great-granddaughter of Mr. Clean
She takes about fifteen baths a day
Wants me to grow a moustache on my face
Shes insane
Well, ask me why Im drunk alla time
It levels my head and eases my mind
I just walk along and stroll and sing
I see better days and I do better things
I catch dinosaurs
I make love to Elizabeth Taylor
Catch hell from Richard Burton